Yes I look that slim, I wear a leotard and legwarmers and my hair is luscious and blond. Actually it's a complete lie. I wear black leggings, black vest and the toughest sports bra ever constructed, I actually look flat chested which is impressive considering the above average size of my Bristol's. I have discovered that while I do perspire that I don't as much as a the yak that I was double grape vining next to last night, that woman could sweat. You could stand her in a hot room and she'd turn to solid salt. I won't hold that against her though, as I trod on her foot after starting off on the wrong leg during a complicated combination. My teacher is a sadist, she has gone and made it not only longer and quicker but the combinations are like human Tetris on level 12. I like a challenge though and I keep jogging between combinations which apparently she likes as I am keeping my heart going, (I'd be worried if I stopped moving my legs and my heart stopped at the same time, I must say). Wait for it... *gasp* I actually spoke to someone in class! Some post workout water drinking and heavy breathing was shared at the side of the class before I launched into conversation with the Yak (I won't let prolific body fluids stop me). "Sorry I trod on your foot, I don't have much co-ordination" "That's OK, it was a hard one tonight". Thus endeth my conversation with the Yak, as she walked off to speak to someone else across the room. I sniffed my pits, I looked in the mirror for a bogey hanging out of my nostril, I didn't make an inappropriate comment like I did in Pilates on Saturday, nothing, not a thing that could offend. I could not find anything to tell me why she didn't want to continue talking with me. Now common sense tells me that she wanted to speak to that other lady for some important reason and it didn't have anything to do with me and my boring comment. I was keeping it safe and inoffensive but maybe I came off as bland and uninteresting. I must practise my small talk. I need to master the art of saying something interesting in one sentence to capture my audience straight off the bat. "Did you see that the lockers now take £1 coins rather than 20p's" isn't going to cut it with this Wellingborough lot. Not to generalise but I don't think that I can launch into a critique of the Damien Hirst retrospective either. No I need to keep it medium brow with a local aspect. "I see that Wellingborough library has got copies of The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo in stock" or "Costa has a new Frappachino, do you want to grab one after aerobics and talk about interesting local things and get to know each other as I don't know anyone apart from my boyfriend,my rabbit and the miserable woman on reception". Maybe not. Smells of desperation methinks.
Therefore my tactic is thus. Tomorrow I am doing Body Combat, I will get there early so that I am one of the first there waiting outside the studio. The next person to arrive will get it both barrels with my charisma and witty banter. To start I will keep it safe with "I don't normally do this class, is it tough? I need a hard one to keep me interested" (do we think that challenging would be a better word inserted into that sentence?! But I do love a double entendre!) from there we will launch into a getting to know you chat and hopefully, stand next to them in class and carry on the banter. Or, more likely, their mates will turn up and I can either a) slump back into obscurity while they share "in" jokes or b) I can ask the mates about the class too and introduce myself and make more friends. I will play it by ear. I might have to be brazen and go for it. Being meek isn't my style and isn't getting me anywhere. What's the worst that can happen? Yes I could look like a Billy No Mates or I could look like an exotic Londonite, come to inject some urban jazz (?!?) into things. Lets think the latter but be prepared for the former.
Ooh I've gone on a bit today. I will need to get on with some work. Today I am working from home with Cocobun, he's reading the paper right now actually, he likes to keep abreast of current affairs.
Til the next one....Ttfn xxxx
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