It has to be said there is nothing crazier than a woman who keeps cats. Even worse is a woman who keeps cats and whose house is full of cat hair (obviously) but also cat nic nacs. I'm not a nic nac person but a cat shaped one is going to get you a name "Mad Cat Woman". The sort of person who features on How Clean is Your House or Come Dine with Me. Now I thought there was nothing crazier until I met the person who bred my rabbit. What a loony. Nice enough chap but he literally lives like Cat Weasel in a terrace in Bedford. The house was full of animals, hair, litter trays and a smell that only a person so obsessed with animals that they would marry their dog, could stand. I had to dodge the dog poo minefield of a back garden to get to the shed where the rabbits were kept. I looked like I was river dancing down the pathway (please note that pugs can shit like billy-o). The door was opened and thrust upon me was the pungent smell of what I now recognise as rabbit wee. It made the eyes water. But within that pissy wooden cave was a rabbit lovers heaven. Lined up in hutches stacked one on top of the other were the cutest little bunnies I have ever seen. Grey ones, white ones, ones with lop ears, ones with long fur and there in the corner gnawing at the bars like a prisoner on death row with a whiff of freedom in his nose was this little chap. At first I thought it was a little doggie because his colouring was that of a dachshund. Cocobun was the one, I saw that naughty glint in his eye immediately. I asked to be shown the little doggie bun in the corner and Cat Weasel said "What Paul McCartney?" That sealed it. Cocobun is my little dude. When I work he sits next to me, snoozing on his side until he wakes up at the sound of the fridge opening which in his world means "kale time". Cocobun is such a dude that I even bought him a harness and lead so that I can walk him around like a doggie. I tried it the other day, I still have the scratch marks up my arms, it looks like I've been self harming. I will persevere and when its on him, I will parade around with my rabbit on a lead like a mad rabbit woman, in bag lady clothes talking to herself loudly, down Wellingborough High Street. I will video this ridiculous sight and get £250 from You've Been Framed. Which might then fund a new class I have been thinking about......African Drumming!
Until next time...sorry I'm off to eat stew with my man and my bun xxxx
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