Social Leper does Downward Dog

A noise was heard by the whole class this morning, as I struggled to lift one leg to the ceiling while in the downward dog pose at Pilates....."errrrrrrrrpppp".  No it didn't come from me thank god, I have complete control of my own buttocks thank you, even when straining to lift my leg while I suffocate in my own breasts.  No, this sound came from the woman in front of me, the one who always keeps her handbag with her next to her mat.  What does she think is going to happen to it if it's left on the side like everyone elses?  Your soon going to notice if someone starts rummaging through your old till receipts, fluff covered tampons and the lone Extra chewing gum at the bottom.  This Handbag Woman didn't bat an eyelid when the sound erupted over the pan pipe mood.  I giggled into my breasts and carried on fudging my way through the various core exercises until the end of the class.  Rather unwisely I saw this as an opportunity to strike up some conversation with other ladies.  Handbag Woman had gone so I sidled up to the girl who I feel is my equal in the class (early 30'sish, cool, stylish, can't balance on one foot like me) and said "What do you reckon she keeps in that handbag of hers then eh?.....ass plugs?!!"  Her face fell, a nervous laugh escaped and she collected her yoga mat and quickly made her way through the double doors.  Sod it.  You obviously can't say things like that to someone who you have never even said hello to before.  That therefore concludes my attempts to strike up an acquaintance at Pilates.  Next gym based attempt at conversing with human beings =  Aerobics on Monday.  In the mean time I will have to research some avenues. 

Got a hot lead.  Wellingborough has an amateur dramatics society.  Is this like putting a bottle of vodka in front of an alcoholic or what?  It has to be said that I am not backwards in coming forwards.  I wouldn't say I am a show off and I most certainly don't court peoples attention every second but when an opportunity arises to make a smart comment or stoop to sarcasm I will take it.  I am the sort of person that dances in a bar when no one else is drunk enough (Birthday drinks in Camino Kings Cross as an example, doing Zorba the Greek from my bar stool at 6pm after not even consuming one alcoholic drink).  I have a history on the stage.  Dance classes of various sorts from the age of 6 - 11 meant that I was forced to don a homemade costume once a year to perform to entertain parents that had paid for the pleasure to watch their darlings dance badly to old show tunes.  I was also the Inn Keeper that said "Yes we do have room...you can have the shitty stable round the back with the ox and the ass".  So I'm thinking that Am Dram may be that creative release with added people meeting potential that I was looking for.  I have a telephone number and a name of the "Creative Director", I have looked at their website and was encouraged to see that they meet each Tuesday night at a pub for their meetings.  Now if that doesn't sound like an excuse by the committee to get a few bevvies in mid week, I don't know what is....they sound like my kind of people!  So I shall be phoning Rosie the CD tomorrow and see if I can't crow bar my way into some theatrical production of The Pirate of Penzance.  Arrrrrrrrr me hearties!

Ttfn, I'll let you know what this alchie attention seeker says tomorrow.

xxx